Purest One
by RinsDarkMagician
Summary: Toshi and Saito come to the realization that their deepest desires are what defines them the most.
1. Diablo

**Welcome to the first chapter of my first Toshi/Saito story. This story has been causing my heart to ache for a long time. Toshi and Saito are a pretty...interesting couple. Honestly, they're rather fluffy and cute and there's no reason for them not to be. However, writing the two of them being all shy and cute together was simply not working for me. I came up with this idea to show the deepest desires of Saito and Toshi. In this first chapter, Saito being as innocent in the love department as he is, still has extremely dark and deep desires and it's about time he came to term with those. He's about to face a part of himself that he never knew existed and he needs to learn that it's all part of human nature.**

The thought of shoulder angels amused and confused Saito to no end. There simply seemed to be no point to them. He had seen a lot of things in his lifetime yet he still couldn't bring himself to agree with people blaming invisible, tiny creatures who whispered in their ears about whether to do right or wrong. He never voiced his opinion, but he thought people should take responsibilities for their actions instead of finding something, even something that didn't exist, to blame.

At least he felt that way until his shoulder angel appeared.

He wondered why they were called 'shoulder angels' when one of them was obviously a devil. He never expected to hear the devil so clearly in his head. He had first heard the devil one day while he and the other men were enjoying breakfast.

"_I want him to touch me."_

Saito nearly spit his food out. Okita and Heisuke quickly started hitting his back to get him to stop choking. He recovered and told everyone he was fine.

"Are you sure?"

Saito looked at Toshi as he expressed his concern. Saito just nodded his head and stood up saying he was going outside for some air. He left and really did take a deep breath, though that wasn't his true reason for leaving. He simply didn't want to face Toshi after thinking such an odd thought.

However, he wasn't sure that it was really him who thought it. He would never think such a thing even if it were true. Perhaps...it was the shoulder angel? Or rather the shoulder devil. Of course! It was the shoulder devil that he had heard so much about. That had to have been the reason for him thinking like that.

So Saito did exactly what he said he wouldn't ever do. He blamed his emotions, feelings, and thoughts on a being who was invisible...and who probably didn't exist.

Days and days passed and the shoulder devil still tugged at Saito's ear and whispered the strangest things to him.

"_I want him near me. I want him to touch me. I want him so badly. He's so beautiful. Maybe I can find a way to get him to hold me. Please, make me yours, Toshi!" _

Saito would have scolded the devil for calling his Vice Commander by his first name if he could actually see the sneaky little demon. Somehow when Saito looked at his shoulder, even when the devil was speaking to him, he saw nothing there. That didn't make any sense. Surely if the devil were talking to him he would have to be sitting right there on his shoulder.

And why was the devil always using words like 'I' and 'me?' It confused Saito into thinking that it was actually him thinking those words instead of the devil whispering it to him. It just didn't make any sense at all.

"Are you all right, Saito?"

Saito jumped as he heard the voice of his Vice Commander behind him. The devil started going wild thinking obscene things! It was so hard to focus with the devil planting images of the two men together in Saito's mind. There were images of them hugging and kissing and touching and so much more.

"Yes, sir. I'm fine." Saito said, mentally fighting off the devil.

"Are you sure? You've seemed a bit...distracted these past few days."

"_Oh, how can I not be distracted with you always around, Toshi?"_

Saito's eyes grew wide as the devil said the Vice Commander's first name again! Never mind the crude and lustful things the devil was saying! He had no right to ever call the Vice Commander by his first name!

"I'll try harder to stay focused, sir." Saito said calmly.

"That's not really what I...well don't worry about it," Toshi said, ignoring the fact that Saito missed his point. He stretched out his arm to Saito and gently touched his shoulder, giving it a gentle rub. "Just let me know if you need to rest a bit or if you need to talk or if there's anything at all I can help you with."

Saito watched as Toshi walked away from after saying that. For a moment the only things that could be heard were the branches moving against the wind and then...

"_He touched me! I want him to touch me again! I need him to touch me again! Toshi, please, come back!" _

Saito covered his face as his desire for Toshi became impossible for him to hide. He quickly ran to his room and jumped into his bed, hugging his chest. The heat rose in his body, but he dug his nails into his arms so his hands wouldn't wander elsewhere.

"_It's okay. No one will know. I can touch where I want and imagine it's Toshi...no one will be the wiser."_

Saito wanted to scream at the devil to stop talking. He wanted to tell the devil to stop using terms like 'I' and 'me' because all it did was confuse him! It made him think that...it was him thinking all of these things and not the devil.

And that was impossible.

"Vice...vice..."

Saito didn't even realize his hand had made it's way down his chest and was already teasing to go even lower. He brought his hand to his face though it was only a matter of seconds before he lost control and his hand found it's way down his body again. The devil was all but forgotten as Saito imagined it was Toshi touching him and not himself.

"Vice..."

It wasn't enough. Saito wanted more. He wanted Toshi there with him. He wanted it to be Toshi touching him. He wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him how much he loved him.

"I...I love you, T-Toshi."

The devil had won. Saito desired Toshi in every way possible, so much so he had even gotten lost in those desires and called the Vice Commander by his first name. The shame he felt in that was greater than any pleasure he could give himself. This devil was truly evil. And just because he wasn't touching himself any longer didn't mean those desires left him.

"_I love you, Toshi. I love you. Please, come and..."_

Thankfully the devil drifted off. As Saito lay there catching his breath and calming his body's reactions to his desires he realized something. There was a major flaw in his theory that there was a shoulder devil whispering such indecent, suggestive, and horrible words into his ear and placing graphic images of him and Toshi in his mind.

There was no angel on his other shoulder to lead him away from the cunning and tempting devil.

**Stay tuned for chapter 2, which features Toshi's deepest desires! See you there! **


	2. Purest One

He hushed his conscience and told it to go back to depths of his soul.

He didn't want to hear what it had to say anymore. He knew that he was a tempted man. How could he not be when something so enticing was constantly around him? He tried to fight it. He went back and forth with himself, his conscience, and had eventually bowed out of the battle. His desires had taken over and won.

However, Toshi was just fine with that. He never considered himself the purest one of his group of men. If anything he thought of himself as the least pure. And yet the more he thought about it the more he knew he had never thought of anyone or anything in such a…provocative fashion.

The object of his desire, Saito Hajime, was often more alluring than he realized. From the graceful yet fierce way Saito used his sword to the quiet and calm way he ate his rice, Toshi indulged in his every movement.

Even when the pretty left handed swordsman wasn't in his sight he was still on his mind. On the nights when he felt the weakest Toshi would think about him and Saito together. He imagined taking Saito for his own, running his hands through his hair, touching all over his body, and eventually exploring deep inside him.

Thankfully Toshi wasn't an impulsive man otherwise on those nights he would have gone straight to Saito's room and done exactly what he dreamed of doing.

Or so he told himself.

In reality he knew he would only admire from afar. He had a deep desire for Saito, though he never acted upon those desires. He didn't want to destroy the trust and security that had taken so much time and patience for Saito to build. Saito was strong…but very fragile. Like a raging fire Saito had the capabilities to destroy and take the life from anything in his path, yet like a flame all it would take was one quick, sudden, and unexpected movement for him to be extinguished forever.

Toshi loved him too much to risk that.

He wondered if Saito could see the love behind his eyes. He wondered if Saito could feel his burning desire flowing out of him. He was never able to tell.

"I adore you." Toshi whispered on one of the nights where his desires took control of him.

He turned on his side and clung to his blankets, imaging they were Saito. He was long past trying to hide how much he wanted him. He used to fight his desires and pretend they weren't there, but he eventually drowned in them. His desires screamed and shouted at him to prove they existed and to show they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. Toshi had no choice but to accept them, which he did.

Even if he refused to tell Saito how he felt he still couldn't deny his feelings. He continued to think about how badly he wanted to touch Saito and taste him and make him his. His feelings were starting to overwhelm him and he started to question how long he could hide this from Saito. Would it even be worth it to keep hiding from him?

Absolutely not.

A resolution woke in Toshi's heart. He loved Saito. He loved, adored, and desired him in every single way and he didn't want to spend the rest of his life only thinking about Saito and wishing he were his. He wanted to show Saito exactly how he felt. He wanted to fill him with more love and affection than he could handle. Toshi knew of the risks involved. He knew by finally admitting his love he could push Saito right out of the door. Saito could become frightened of him or even possibly despise him, but if there was even one small chance that he would be loved back then Toshi would be willing to put everything on the line. After all...

"I've gone farther for lesser gold."

* * *

><p><strong>The resolution in Toshizou's heart has awakened a new Persona! <strong>

**Kidding. Anyway this was a difficult chapter and it's not that...great...but the next chapter seems to be flowing nicely so hang in there with me! **


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